Why don't pirates attack whalers?

A.They have harrrrrrrpoons!

What do you get when you mix a pirate with a vampire?
A. DraculARRRR

How do pirates make their money?
A. By hook or by crook.

Why do pirates make excellent fishermen?
A. They know how to hook the big ones.

Q: What has 8 arms and 8 legs?
A: 8 Pirates!

Why don't pirates use a safe deposit box?
A. They put their valuables in Davy Jones' Locker.

Why did the pirate refuse to say, "Aye, Aye, Captain"?
A. Because he's only got one eye.

A nun, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "What is this, some kind of joke?" Aso try joke@mosio.com (I think)

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish
you had ordered that.

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
Itz formality just like 2 boxers shaking hands b4 fight begins!

sorry, joke@mosio.com does not exist.

did u get a joke back?

u can send joke to 44636 which is called 4info.net - that will get u a joke but its automated.

A blonde walks into a bar. Man that had to hurt.

ha I dont see that info for the movie 'over the top' but
Justin Timberlake, and Mike Meyers had a killer handlebar mustache in the movie 'The Love Guru' (2008)

Rick Zumwalt - Bob "Bull" Hurley

* A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

* If you want your spouse to listen & pay strict attention 2 every word U say, talk in ur sleep.

* At cocktail party, one woman said 2 another, "Aren't U wearing ur wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes,I am, I married the wrong man."

How do most men define marriage? very expensive way 2 get ur laundry done free.

* If your dog barking at the back Door and your Wife knocking at the front door who would you let in first ?
The Dog, because dog will shut up once he is in.

A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attntn 2 couple nxt door & said,"C that couple? How devoted they R ? He kisses her every time they meet. Y don't U do that?"
"I wud love 2 do that," replied husband, "but prob is - she won't allow me"

Absolutely.

beans beans the magical fruit, the more you eat the more you toot, the more you toot the better you feel, so eat some beans with every meal

Beans contain sugars that we humans cannot digest. most offensive sugars, known as "flatulence factors" to scientists who research farts, R raffinose, stachiose,& verbascose..

Here's an interview in Business week were the owner and president of Bush Brothers beans discusses this very topic.
http://tinyurl.com/3mosos

Wen these sugars reach our intestines, bacteria go wild, hav big feast, & make lots of gas!
http://www.jeffssite.net/Fart%20facks.htm

yep. They can b purchased from any Post Office™ locations in US as well as from any rural route carrier, available up to $1,000 each...

A current government-issued or state-issued picture identification is required for money order purchases of $3,000 or more in a single day.
http://www.usps.com/money/sendingmoney/moneyorders/welcome.htm

Population in July 2007: 5,174. Population change since 2000: +29.3%
Males: 1,857 (48.0%)
Females: 2,008 (52.0%)

3,865 (2000)

poodles,

top 3 in the world
1. Border Collie
2. Poodle
3. German Shepherd

retrievers are easiest to train though.

http://www.petmedsonline.org/top-10-smartest-dogs-in-the-world.html

Rottweiler,Labrador Retriever

peanutbutter, or peanut oil

Take an ICE CUBE & rub it on the affected area. This will harden the gum & it will break apart pretty easy. This is the cleanest method & will not leave any residue

Hi, its me your phone, I just wanted to get out of you pocket. The smell from your ass was killing me.

Rain makes al thngs beautiful, If rain makes al things beautiful then why doesn't it rain on u?

not nasty but healthy ...

Before marriage.... .

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!..

She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.

She: Darling!
After marriage....
Simply read from bottom to the top.